Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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