Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
