I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
