My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
