I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
