Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Boobs are out for the taking
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
