Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
