Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
