If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
