idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Randomize
