he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
