Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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