Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
