Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Hippo gnu deer
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
