Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
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Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
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How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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