alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
