Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize