just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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