There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
im calling her cock vulture from now on
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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