Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
