so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
