FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
