That's when you crack a 10am beer
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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