Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
