Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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