i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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