Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
