she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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