Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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