Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
