If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
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