I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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