I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize
