is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
