Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
