i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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