Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
