We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
