I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
