The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
