im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Randomize
