Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
