I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
