with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
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