why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
