in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize