i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
