My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize