I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Randomize
