So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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