Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
