We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
