He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
