broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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