The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
