I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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