I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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