So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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