If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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