I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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