I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Boobs speak an international language.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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