..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
