Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
ok first of all what the fuck
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