We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
