i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
