and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
