You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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