Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
